My Artist Statement
Oceans of Love slide past our focus on a daily basis. The symmetry of our nature eludes us, while we get caught in our webs of disappointment. We expect so much, as we should, but often in this hope there are invisible potholes that blind side our momentum. We break ankles while trying to hurdle the stars. We shed vulnerability in order to grow back thicker skin, believing that this truly makes us stronger, more protected, more attractive and more independent people, when in reality this is the worst thing we could do. There are so many of us with wingspans the size of skyscrapers and yet too afraid to open them up. We exchange humility for humiliation and feel safer playing the martyr than attempting to be the hero. We sacrifice infinite opportunities to share love due to our reservations with rejection. We are brighter than the sun through a million magnifying glasses and yet we seek refuge from our own potential. We duck under umbrellas unaware that the weather is only raining on the inside, while Lilac sunsets cry to be noticed.
The beautiful truth about our species is that we were designed to be broken, and then to put ourselves back together without needing to have added extra armor in the process. We were meant to fail, because without failure we’d never know where we once were after achieving success. Our growth can only be measured this way. If we seek not to change or to take healthy risks, we sever the kites attached to our spirit. People are afraid to tell the world what they're going to do, because if God forbid it takes us longer than expected to get there, we fear others wont see the merit, honesty, or validation in our attempts. The irony is that the results are fleeting regardless of the size of the trophy we aim for or end up carrying home. It’s the connections we make along our journey that keeps us grounded in intimacy. When we don’t share who we are and what scares us, we end up building homes with no front doors, staring out the windows through the blinds at our neighbors from a safe distance. Strangers become obstacles instead of friends who we just haven’t met yet. We are all so part of the same dream and yet too often we build walls and dig motes in order to live more disconnected lives.
My passion blossoms when I'm awarded the opportunity to watch others grow. I thrive off of watching others attempt to be better people. I find our flaws to be sexy when they are admitted. I find empathy to be the best anecdote when getting too lost within self. I can only hope that as I age I will continue to see the evolution of humanity traveling towards a gentler and more forgiving awareness in regards to the way we communicate with one another. Having a child has made me look into the mirror longer than I ever once did. Its brought the truth of my character flaws to the surface with the buoyancy of a rocket ship. We cannot fool our children forever. They will eventually discover that we are not their Gods and that the answers are just as much of a mystery to us as it will be for them. I believe it’s cleaner to show our messiness to the world than to polish off our acting skills. We don’t need to feel desperate if we decide to accept that we won't get it right all of the time. I love this life and all of the torture we endure as we walk through it. We are brave and charismatic creatures born into a galaxy that thrives off of balance. We need as much dark as light, as much doubt as certainty, and as much pain as love. Without our cracks how could the light get in? I believe to avoid this truth is to live in constant sorrow while setting ourselves up for an unachievable destiny. I dare myself to commit to this understanding, and to be blessed with substantial reminders when I’ve found myself trapped in moments of spiritual amnesia. - Bryan Matthew Boutwell